Unicorn Kingdom

“We just launched a campaign in Silicon Valley just talking about our companies and what they are doing.. The campaign is called Unicorn Kingdom.” — Rishi Sunak

In the Unicorn Kingdom, all the dues are due to the mons driot.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, the silicon is willing but the capital is not.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, rabbid management is rebadged as ‘demanding travails’.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, we will be saved by Uber Eats uber alles.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, we notionally equalise, but practically crown.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, we celebrate ‘national conservatism’ on our grounds.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, we say the road to the future runs through the past

but if the mirror isn’t flatteringly funhouse, we run out of the circus aghast.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, sceptics become obsessives, orators become wreckers.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, practical conjectures are left to someone else’s successors.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, the ship of state is filled with blancmange and fungi.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, the chaps in charge somehow always win, and are hard done by.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, we keep telling ourselves we’re exceptionally exceptional.

And we are! — but only because everything is for sale, then rentable.

In the Unicorn Kingdom, counterpunch, drift, abstain, connive, derive –

In the Unicorn Kingdom, sharpen your horn and myths: it’s the only way we’ll survive.