Credit: Tottenham Hotspur

Potential names for an NFL franchise in London

(all of which are better and less offensive than the R*******)

ondon Beefeaters — will keep the Ravens’ defense grounded, or a tower collapses or something.

London Top Hats — because snooty offense wins championships.

London Spivs — sounds like ‘shivs’, a promise of sneaky violence.

London AFC Utd Town — will appeal to the local hardcore inattentive soccer crowd.

London Fish & Chips — guarantees a different spin on the tailgate; perhaps opportunities for a sea-based experience?

London Redcoats — they’re coming! And they’re losing!

London Pigeons — have you seen a London pigeon? IT’S A GIANT RAT WITH WINGS.

London Superb Owls — In Britain, game recognizes puns.

London Crown Jewels — expensive, shiny and stolen from elsewhere — sounds like free agency, doesn’t it?

London Bridges — we’ve got the original, so why not enjoy this facsimile instead?

London Wahn-Kers — this mortal and grave insult will act as motivation for the players.

London Corgis — the Monarchs were popular in NFL Europe, so the Queen’s small, spoilt yet aggressive canines will definitely catch on.

London Umbrellas — the way they’re wielded you certainly would class them as offensive weapons.

London Crickets — by jiminy, let’s piggyback on another quaint English sport!

London Fatbergs — once other teams discover what a fatberg is, they won’t want to tackle them; an easy way to get above .500 seasons.

London Marxists — if this doesn’t scare opponents, nothing will.

London Bad Teeth — actually, this is scarier than the Marxism.

London Brexits — seeing as nothing else has got the country as fired up recently.

London Unicorns — as that’s how likely any UK franchise will be.

Hunger, Fire, Harrumph.

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